3 week stats

Well Everett finally had a real doctor's appointment. We went to a check-up when he was 2 days old, but this was our first official doctor's visit and we met the pediatrician. I am not sure how I feel about him yet. I don't tell the doctors that I am a pediatric nurse practitioner, I just let them do there thing and ask all my questions that I should or do know the answers to, but am freaking out cause it is my own kid so I ask anyway.

Everett was supposed to be seen at 2 weeks old, but the doctor was full. Then I mixed up appointment days and missed his tuesday appointment. I had tears streaming down my face as the receptionist told me on wednesday that my appointment was the day before. I told her, "Guess I am mother of the year huh?" I was able to squeeze him in an appointment for the next day. So yesterday Tristan and I ventured off to two appointments. One to the lactation specialist and the next to the doctor. Turns out I have one side that feeds the baby too fast so he gulps and chokes and spits up and then has horrible gas. The other side does not have much milk and the baby just plays around instead of eats. New solution, feed first on the poor side each time to make more milk, then do the other side, and finally then pump on the slow side. So now i have and extra 20 minute routine to add to my already 2 hour feeding/burping/putting back to sleep routiune. So fun!

STATS: At 3 weeks and one day Everett is 9lbs and 0.8 ounces and 22 inches long. I can't believe he gained 1.5 inches (I don't think she measured right) and he is already 9 pounds. Just a little less than 2 weeks before that he was down to 7 pounds 3 ounces. He is gaining weight well, but we have some serious digestive issues. Green stringy mucousy poop. LIkely a milk allergy the doctor said. So as of today I am not allowed to eat any dairy products. If that does not help after a couple weeks then I can eat it again. I also was given a perscription for reflux medication but we are going to wait and see if he improves with me not eating dairy. He does not spit up large amounts, but is constantly spitting up small amounts. He chokes in his sleep and wakes himself up, so the doctor thought maybe it would help him sleep longer than a 20-30 minute stretch.

Yes my great baby has disappeared. He is still very alert, so he does not like to sleep and he is gassy/fussy. It takes a couple hours to get him back to sleep between feeds then he only sleeps for a tiny bit. I get about 3-4 hours total for a night on a good night, and an hour during the day. The doctor said as we were leaving, it is probably just colic. JUST COLIC? It's killing me, how am I going to go back to work in three weeks with sleeping so little.

My sweetie

These pictures are in reverse order of his age. The most recent picture is at the top and the pictures at the bottom are right after he was home from the hospital.

This is Everett at 2 weeks old. He is in a Christmas outfit. It has Christmas lights all over it. I will post some more of the Christmas photo shoot later.

This is our first and only walk. Everett was about a week old here. It has been too cold to take him back outside since then.

Another picture on our walk.

I can't get enough of this guy!

Cousin Hannah finally came to visit Everett at one week old. She was so good and understanding that she can't hold him yet. Yes I am a mean auntie, but too many germs right now.

Aunt Mayra with Everett a couple days after home from hospital

Uncle Eric and Everett. They were in Utah when he was born and had to wait to meet him.

This is Everett shortly after home from the hospital.

More of Everett after home from the hospital. Isn't he so cute and sweet?

2 weeks old

Everett is 2 weeks old today. He is such a joy and so stinkin cute. We love him so much. I need Tristan to help me put pictures up. Apparently I have been putting the full image size on blogger and it says I don't have anymore room to put photos up. I need Tristan to show me how to do reduced pictures. So hopefully tomorrow I will have plenty of pictures of my sweet little boy posted. For today I will just update on how things are going. Tristan posted the last post with the pictures announcing Everett's arrival. I don't like those bare shoulder pictures being posted, sorry for those that had to view them.

People have been asking for the birth story. Woke up at 4am thinking did my water break? Same thing at 5 and at 6 and then at 6:45 big gush so we called hospital and went in. Got there at 8. My blood pressure and the baby's heart rate were very elevated so they admitted me right away. They originally wanted the mid wife to evaluate if my water had broken cause at the hospital nothing was leaking. But they admitted me due to the other problems. They watched me for 2 hours, my blood pressure and the baby's heart rate lowered but I had no contractions on my own. The midwife did not want to examine me as at risk for infection with broken water. She said it may be urine not my water broken but they started me on pitocin anyway. 2 hours later I was still not feeling any contractions, but the monitor showed I was having plenty. They upped the pitocin and in 10 minutes it was like hello we are in labor. They had told me to plan on 15 hours as that is the average first time labor. Well a bit later I got my epidural which I asked for as soon as I got to the hospital. They checked me right after my epidural and I was an 8 (no wonder the contractions were really strong), fully effaced and station 0. But they found that my water had not broken. Ooops probably was not supposed to be in labor. I was basically induced. 2 hours later they checked again cause I told them I felt lots of pressure to push. I was a 10 and ready to push. They could not believe how fast I had gone. The pitocin was started aroun 10:30 and around 4:45 I was ready to push. I pushed for about 1hr 15 minutes. They had trouble getting his head out (and it is not big at all). I finally begged for an episiotomy cause I could feel everything going on and was sick of her trying to get the head out by massaging it as I was out of steam and she said I was going to tear anyway. I thought it was funny when the anesthesiologist said you won't feel your contractions but you will feel the pressure and pain below so you can push effectively. What, I thought no pain with this epidural??? I am sure it took of the edge, but I was telling the nurse ok here is another one lets push. It acutally worked out well cause I was able to tell when to push on my own and feel what I was doing. She finally did the episiotomy and a couple minutes later Everett was born. 2 minutes later I delivered the placenta. She said that was record time and she has done over 5,000 deliveries just at kaiser. I was pleased with how fast it all went. He was so alert and nursed right away for a long time.

Everett eats well, and likes to eat. I am up often nursing him and he takes a lot of effort to burp so it takes a bit to burp him and get him to sleep in between feeds. He eats for a long period of time and likes to eat on both sides. it is usually an hour to hour and a half process to get up change him, feed and burp, and put back down. Then he is up in another hour to 90 minutes to eat again. I don't get much sleep, but he is not fussy so I can't complain. He gets gassy but he does not cry, just squirms. I am trying to sleep when he does, but it is really hard to sleep during the day. I am very careful about what I eat too. It is tiring but well worth it, and I am glad he is such a good baby.

Everett Von Terry

Everett Von Terry was born November 25, 2009 at 6:09pm. He weighed 7lbs 13 oz, 20.5 inches long. He was very alert and happy to see the world! He has lots of light hair and is extremely cute!! Mommy and baby are doing well.

Our Baby is Coming! Wed Nov 25th 7:18

We are leaving to go to the hospital. Why do I have time to write this? Because my water broke and I am not having any contractions. So they said to shower and eat something and come in. Tristan is in the shower and I am just waiting for him. We already had everything packed and in car and I showered last night just in case. I clearly underestimated this child. He will be right on time and I will enjoy a lovely thanksgiving dinner from the hospital cafeteria.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know... (Tues Nov 24)

Am I still pregnant. My phone has been ringing, the texts coming in, and lots of emails asking if I have had the baby yet. NO! This kid is never coming out. I had an appointment today at 39 weeks and 5 days. Today I am 3 cm and 90% effaced (Hmmmm, did I not hear that 90% 3 weeks ago?). My due date is Thursday (2 days). I set up a 40 week appointmnent so that the mid wife can check his heartrate and everything one last time incase he is really not coming out on his own. I go back next tuesday for that if I have not had him yet. Then we also set up our induction. I will be induced on Dec.3rd (41 weeks) at 0830 am if I have not had him by them. That is in 9 days, so I really hope it has happened by then. I want to go into labor on my own and could have waited to be induced til 42 weeks, but that would put the baby coming during finals and that is not good.

I had a rough day today, and the events that transpired have only proved I will be having a difficult delivery; mainly an absolutely horrible recovery. I will not be going into labor under the most optimal conditions and that will make the recovery process harder. All I can say is Tristan is the best husband ever and gave me the best care today.

Pictures for Sarah!

Sarah wanted to see some pictures of me before I have this baby. I don't have any 39 week pics yet for her, so I will take them tomorrow after church. However, I do have some pictures of me at exactly 38 weeks. Tristan had to go to a museum for his cultural class and we decided to go to the museum of latin american art in Long Beach. It was a small museum which was great cause I did not feel good (you can tell in the pics) and I got sick of walking around. I also have some pictures of me a couple days later at the San Diego temple with my family. I am 38 weeks and 2 days in those. They are all below.

I think I am having a contraction in one of the museum pictures sitting on the bench. Just kidding, I think I may have been about to sneeze.

More pictures: Only 4 days left. (Sun. Nov.22, 2009)

Tristan took these pictures today after church to have some form of documentation of week 39 of pregnancy. Next pictures will be on my due date if we make it that long.






I can't believe I have 4 more days. I am doing great and am happy to keep him for a bit longer. However, Tristan is dying to see this little guy. He has been out of school since Wednesday and has all this week off. He wants the baby to come now so he can have a week to play with him and love him before he goes back to school.

Rather than setting goals of things I need to or have to make it to, I have set some events to look forward to have the time fly by til my due date.

1. Friday Nov 20th: Heidi coming to decoreate nursery. It looks great. It is super simple we are not done, but know what our last couple things are we need to do. She is a great decorator. Tristan loves the room. Its is light green and blue and we have added some monkey and jungle touches to it. It is not a super themes room cause we did not want jungle mania, but Tristan gets his monkeys which he is so excited about. (DONE)

2. See New Moon. We did this yesterday afternoon. Tristan won a free ticket and we went to a noon showing. It was last minute, so we walked into the theater 5 minutes before it started and it was pretty empty. Loved seeing it without crazy screaming teenage girls. (DONE)

3. Sat Nov. 21st: My nephews baptism and celebration afterward. It is a small little family affair but I am excited to be there. It gave me something to look forward too for the weekend. (DONE)

4. Organize the baby stuff/nursery. Every room in my house has been taken over by the baby's stuff. IT is crazy how much stuff he has. Today we are going to organize it all into his room and put stuff in the garage we don't need yet. Then put the bouncer, swing, playpen, toys etc in one place so only one room is taken over. (Almost done)

5. Tues Nov 24th: Last Doctor's appointment. I am always excited to go and hear my little guy's heartbeat. We will be setting up our induction for 41 weeks at that time incase he decides to keep hibernating.

6. From Tues to Thursday it will be getting ready for THanksgiving. Shopping, baking, and cooking. THat will really take up my time. I am excited.

7. Thanksgiving Day, AKA Due date. I would love to be able to spend a nice Thanksgiving day with my family. If the baby comes too close to Thanksgiving I won't be coming.

After all this stuff is over, I will be bored again and waiting for him to come. But I am grateful I have plenty to do over the next 4 days to occupy my time.

Doctor, Doctor!

Had my 38 week appointment today at 38 weeks and 6 days. I will be 39 weeks tomorrow, guess I am a bit behind with my appointments. I am so confused. I saw the same midwife today as I have the last two weeks. Last week I would not let her examine me. She told me I would be examined today and have my membranes stripped. YIKES! I read up on it and was not really sure I wanted it done. I am still doing ok with this guy inside, so why rush the delivery????

She examines me, saying nothing about my membranes. She then says wow you are really far along 2-3 cm dilated and 70%effaced. Ummm hello lady??? Two weeks ago I was 2 cm dilated and 80-90% effaced. Can you regress? I asked her that. She told me it is very subjective as different practitioners get different things. I did not have the heart to tell her she did the exam. When she looked at all the info in the computer, she realized she had done the previous exam. She said well I can see you being 80 today, I will put down 80 and two weeks ago you were 80-90, so you were probably really 80.

WHAT? I don't care what you write down, just put down what I am. So no wonder my you will deliver any day did not happen, I really was not near 90%. She still said that she does not think I will make it to my due date and that I likely won't make it through this week. But I don't really believe her after today's visit, so who knows. I had already prepared myself to go a week late. Then I prepared myself to be early. Now I am starting to prepare myself once again to be late.

I am still doing great, not very uncomfortable yet, so I am fine just waiting around. It just feels like time is not moving. Guess I will make it to goal 4 and 5. Tristan is taking one of his tests right now. I am not having contractions, so don't think I will go into labor before he gets home at ten tonight, and won't have the baby before I am 39 weeks tomorrow. Mission accomplished! (I am probably jinxing myself right now claiming victory early).

New moon, new find

I have been reading new moon over the last few days. I don't really have time to read much, but I try and get 30 minutes in each day before bed. The second day I was reading the book, I turned a page and out fell something. I picked it up and to my surprise it was a picture. A picture of Heather. It was beautiful. She is at work in the picture and there are pictures of Hannah on the wall and she holding hannah in some of the pictures behind her. It was my normal Heather, before cancer and steroids and baldness. I forget what she looked like as a real normal person. I always remember the puffy, swollen, bulgy eyed steroid Heather. How fitting that I found a picture of her in a twilight series book. She loved them. She must have used it as a book mark or something.

Goal # 3....Check

I officially completed goal number 3 today. We went to my brother's sealing and reception. We left the house at noon and just got home around 9:15pm. So exhausted but a wonderful day. Will blog about it later and add pictures, but just wanted to write that I made it through the third goal. Now onto the most important one. Number 4, making it through to Wednesday night. Tristan is in school from 8:00am til 10:00pm so it will be a long day, but hopefully we won't have the baby until after that. I think we will be successful. Still so much to do before the baby comes. The nursery decor (picutres to hang on the wall) has been ordered and Heidi is doing most of it for me, so that does not bring any stress. I have no creative or decorating skills. Glad I have a sister that does. I still need to pack a hospital bag and finish with some of the baby's laundry, putting away things, and getting what we still need for him. I just got my target and babies r us completion coupons to get stuff we need off our registry for 10% off. So much to do this week, but I need to keep busy to make time fly to thursday.

Out of Control

I have officially lost bladder control. I sneeze, cough, laugh, or blow my nose and I always think my water broke, but no it is just poor bladder control. I hope this is not a permanent thing after the baby.

Goals: I have set little goals all along the pregnancy of points to make it to and things to get done. We have a busy week this week and the first part of next week so here are my goals of days to make it to. I had 5 and have already made two of them.
1. Make it through nov 10th so Tristan can take his test. DONE
2. Make it to 38 weeks pregnant (today). This is the soonest I wanted him to come. Ideally I want to go to 39 weeks. DONE
3. Make it through Saturday Nov 14th for my brother's sealing and party. I have been looking forward to this for so long and really want to make it to it.
4. Make it through Wednesday Nov 18th as Tristan has projects, tests and quizes all day long.
5. Make it to 39 weeks (Thursday Nov 19th).

After all of these are accomplished, it won't matter when this kid comes.

I know babies come when they want. This is just my wishful thinking. I focus on making it to one goal at a time. Then onto the next one. Thinking of going a whole week gets overwhelming. So for today now that I am 38 weeks, my focus is getting through Saturday.

Birthday update and baby update

I posted a birthday post but took it down within a few hours. It was a post written in the moment and as I laid down to sleep I could not help but think I need to erase that. So I got up and deleted it cause I really needed my sleep. Some people have asked me what happened to the post and what was in it. Here is the low down. My birthday was Oct 31st (halloween), it happened to mark the 2 month point since Heather passed. I realized that every birthday would be another month and thought what a crummy birthday I am going to have for a while always having to think about this. It was a crazy busy day at work that day to get everyone discharged and out the door so they could go trick or treating. I was working in an area I don't normally work in and trying to get everything done. I did not get to lunch until about 4:00 pm and I ate my lunch with tears streaming down my face thinking of how this is just the start of the first of everything without Heather. The first thanksgiving, christmas, and my first child. But after I wrote about it and went to bed I thought how lame am I? So I deleted it. Here are some pictures of Tristan and I celebrating my birthday. We went out the evening before to the Melting pot and then to a dollar movie. We had a gift card to the melting pot and a coupon. What a wonderful night. Two hours of chatting and eating yummy yummy food (its all fondue) with my sweet husband. We committed to picking out a baby name for our son, but after 2 hours we still did not have one. (Just went through the name book again, still nothing). In these pictures I am 36 weeks and a day.







BABY UPDATE: I went to the doctor today. IT has been a week since she said any day, but since it is your first it could still take a couple weeks. I understand but how is that anyday? Today I did not let her examine me, I don't want this baby to come for another week due to Tristan having a bunch of tests next wednesday. Anytime after that is fine. I know I have no control, but if I can stay off my feet and rest I think we can make it. When she examined me last week I had major contractions all day. I wanted to keep working this week, just 8 hour shifts, but I did something to my foot and I can hardly bare any weight on my right foot. I have to wear tennis shoes with orthodics to not be in pain. So after much fretting, I decided to not go back to work anymore this week. I turned in my disability stuff today. Hopefully that will all work out. I had 4 days off in a row and I was so bored. I don't know what I am going to do for the next couple of weeks. I still need to start decorating the nursery and pack a bag for the hospital.

Not much longer

I am 2 cm dilated and 80-90% effaced, and the mid wife could feel the baby's head when she examined me. She said I won't make it till my delivery date. But for some reason nothing in my life ever goes how anybody says it will. So I am still planning for anything.

I went to an appointment today. Apparently in order to transfer to the hospital which is closer to us, they are making me change my doctor to the orange county system. My doctor whom I love told me it was fine to keep seeing her since I was going to be a pretty normal vaginal delivery, and I could just go to the hospital i chose with in the kaiser system and deliver. They confirmed this over the phone, I turned in all my admit paper work and even signed the papers to admit myslef and the baby so they don't have to come up and bug me while in labor. THey set up a courtesy appointment for me to meet a nurse midwife since that is who delivers the normal births. Well I get there today, to the new office and they say that I am transfering my care. What???? I almost burst into tears. This was my first appointment without Tristan there, and I am so tired from the time change that I could not process it all. Plus I hate making decisions. What if I make the wrong one (Its a life long problem). I got to bed so early and get up too early. I was so out of it. I did not want to fight with anybody about it. I could not get into my doctor for 2 more weeks anyway so I would not be seeing her til almost 39 weeks. I was going to have to see a random nurse practitioner anyway, so why not just change and see a random nurse midwife at this place.

So I changed doctors yet again in this pregnancy. I don't even know the doctor's name since I only saw the midwife. She checked the baby's heartbeat. She said wow your stomach is really tight. I told her how that happens constantly but that it does not hurt, and most the time I dont realize it is tightening until I place my hand on it. She decided to do an exam to see where I was. To my surprise I was a lot further than I thought I would be. Yes, the 2 cm and 80-90% I mentioned above. CRAZY I still have almost 3 and a half weeks left til my due date. After talking with the midwife about how a first time mom can walk around for weeks like that, I decided to finish out this week of work (thurs and fri) and then I will be done. I don't want this baby to come yet, so I am going to take off work and lie down all day long every day so he can stay in as long as possible. I am not uncomfortable yet so I would like to keep him inside so he can grow a bit more. I just took care of 3 babies all born between 37-38 weeks and all were in the ICU cause they were not eating well. They are still not good at coordinating there suck and swallow at 37 weeks, so I dont want him to come yet.

I have so much to do to get ready still, but I am going to take it easy today and tomorrow to get ready for work on Thursday.

pictures

Here are just a couple pictures from the baby shower a couple weeks ago. They are of my life long friend and college roomie sarah Wible Haynie and myself. My sister in law Mayra took a bunch of pictures that I need to get and post. I got these pictures from Sarah. Sarah came all the way down from Idaho for my shower. She said she really wanted to see me pregnant. I hope it was all she dreamed of seeing my big belly.

First is just Sarah and I. I think I should grow my hair out again. I used to wear it like Sarah's, long and curled. It is just so much work when you have a lion's mane for hair.

Second is Sarah being silly with my belly (at about 33 weeks pregnant).

Last is Sarah, myself, and Sarah's mother Lisa. She is a second mom to me as I spent a lot of my time with them in my high school years.


Best part of the day was after the shower I got to hang out with Sarah and she told me she is pregnant. I am so excited for her. She had a miscarriage back in february and is now expecting a little one in May. She is around 13 weeks and all is going well. I have prayed for so long for her to have this baby. I am so excited we are going to have our kids close in age. Not that they will ever see each other cause Sarah married somebody that took her faraway from me to Idaho. Congrats Sarah and Brian.

Random updates

I will post pictures of everything later. But here is the written update of what has been going on. I had a baby shower at my sister Heidi's for family and friends that are basically family a couple weeks ago. We got wonderful baby gifts and I am sure our baby will be the best dressed in town. He even has the cutest outfits to wear to church. We love our homemade gifts we received: Blankets, quilts, burp cloths, clothes etc. Tristan is amazed that people can make things like that. That tells you about my talent level (its a zero). We also got wonderful things for our baby like a mobile, monitor, and the ever important boppy. I have heard from so many that it is a lifesaver for nursing moms. We were blessed by everyone's generosity. We have also been given lots of things from people that are done having kids and what a blessing that is. Our neighbor gave us a highchair, one of Heather's college friends gave us an exersaucer, a portable swing (for when grandma babysits) and a ton of other things. We still need a few items but I am waiting a bit longer to tackle that trip. I don't want to see the bill at target or babys r us when I get all the stuff we need.

We got our Christmas present early this year. We used the money Tristan's parents, my parents, and what we would spend on our self, plus some holiday bonus money I got to buy a high def digital camcorder. Tristan picked it out, I really know nothing about it. It uses memory cards and then we just plug them into the computer or watch it on tv. The quality is so amazing and we don't even have a high def tv. But if we did I can only imagine. We really wanted to get a nice SLR digital camera, but decided that since we have a camera and no video camera we should get the camcorder. Plus it was a lot cheaper than the camera tristan wanted. We got it early incase the baby comes soon and Tristan wanted to record me at the end of my pregnancy and all the preparations we have been doing.

I have the whole house organized and deep cleaned, but it will all have to be done again before the baby comes in four weeks. I am now working on the baby's room. But I think I am going to give up on that project. There are so many gifts and things in boxes that it is really hard to get in there and organize. Also, we can't complete our decorating until we know what we are naming this kid. And now more than ever that is totally up in the air. We did put up the changing table and the crib. The changing table is almost 16 years old. It is from Heidi, then Heather used it, and now I will be using it. It looks new. We have Heather's crib that she bought to match the changing table. I love that all these things in the baby's room once belonged to Heather. It makes it so special for me since she won't be here to experience all this with me. She gave me so many things since she was not going to be having anymore kids. She was looking out for me even when she was so sick.

I am 36 weeks today. Only four weeks left. The other day at work a woman asked me when I was due and I said a little over a month. She asked what was the date and I told her nov 26th. She started laughing and said well today is the 27th so I hate to tell you but you have less than a month. I had not realized it. I am so excited but nervous. I had a lot of back labor on saturday the 24th. It was very painful, would run down my legs, and my left leg was numb. I called the hospital they said i should come in since I was only 35 weeks, but that they would probably not stop the labor. So i laid down and stayed home to labor and in a few hours it went away. The next day my tummy was lower and I think the baby was moving and must have hit a nerve or something. I still have the back pain and occasionally I can't walk cause my leg is numb, but it now goes away within 10-20 minutes. This kid is getting ready. I just hope he turns into the right position before he makes his exit.

I am still working. Today could be my first day of disability, but I think I would die trapped in the house everyday for the next 4-5 weeks waiting for this kid. I work this weekend even though it is my birthday. I see my doc next week, if I am too tired then she will sign me off work. But I hope to go to at least 38 weeks. I have no swelling in my legs or feet, and feel decent enough to keep going. It is exhausting, but worth it to get the full pay check as long as we can.

You know the times are a changing when????

Drum Roll please..... My mother gets her very own cell phone! What is this world coming to. I am not sure how to live in this era. It is exciting and nerve racking all at once.


This may not be shocking for many of you, but for those that know Coy, it is mind blowing. I don't know if she knows how to use it, but she has a fancy knew phone and her own line now. My parents did not even get an answering machine until I was a senior in high school. The only reason we got that was cause Stephanie bought if for them as a gift. When Chad met my parents in the early 90s we still had a rotary phone. This gives you a better idea of how big this news really is.

funny story

Last night I awaken around 2:45 am, my usual time for a second potty break. Tristan is not in bed. I remembered him coming in once before but he was not there anymore. I started calling for him and I can hear him yelling back at me but where is he? Then i see bright flashing lights. Apparently he heard someone or something jiggling the side door to get into our garage. It did not stop so he went outside with his hunting rifle and light and searched for the culprit. Result, nothing. He comes back in the house and hears a big thud, he looks again and nothing. Then he keeps hearing noises, so he finally calls the police. That is where I woke up in all this mess, with the flashing lights. About 30 minutes later Tristan comes up stairs to tell me they found the culprit. After the cops searched our backyard and in our house, they decided to search the garage. There was nobody in there, but they found what made the big thud tristan had heard. We have some tack board on one side of our garage from when we put in the tile floor, it was now on my car. The cops were ready to leave and Tristan said, there has to be something in here cause this is knocked over. They search now on hands and knees and what do they see? A SKUNK under my car. The cops were laughing so hard and they had so much fun trying to get rid of this skunk.

They backed out my car and the skunk did not run out. Then they used a hose and tried to get rid of it that way, but no luck. So they finally decided to leave my car in the driveway for the night and hope he climbed out by the time I get in my car at 5:45 am to go to work. By this time it was around 3:30, so this guy only had a couple of hours to leave. The police told Tristan that they never get calls for our area and that they were really surprised when the got the call. That at least makes me feel better combined with the fact that we found our criminal. Luckily he never sprayed. But I was fearing having to go to my car and drive in the morning. What if he spooked and sprayed and I had to go into work like that. I have been really tired lately so I decided just to call in since I had been up from 2:30 to 4:00 am and could not go back to sleep.

The cops were laughing thinking of if they had not found the skunk and how surprised I would be going out to my car in the morning to go to work and finding a skunk in the garage. Glad somebody thought that possibility was so funny. But I am still scared to go get in my car and it is 9:15 in the morning. I think I will drive Tristan's car today.

BABY UPDATE: I am 35 weeks today. I had an appointment yesterday and I gained 2 pounds! The baby gained 1pound and 4 ounces. He is now estimated at 5 pounds 6 ounces by the ultrasound measurements. He is right on target to be between 7 1/2 pounds and 8 pounds all depending on when I deliver. He is super healthy and was already practicing breathing. He was using his diaphragm and making it move. The doctor said that is an excellent sign of a super healthy fetus. That's my boy. Now all he needs is for his parents to agree on a name and for his mommy to get his room ready.

More pictures

I am posting some more pictures. I have not taken any pictures since the last time I posted some which was 4-5 weeks ago I think. I have not been good about taking pictures this pregnancy. I had a check up with the OB today. I still did not gain any weight, but at least I did not loose any this time. So I am still in the 18-19 pound weight gain range at 32 and a half weeks. Good thing is the baby gained a ton. Well atleast in my eyes its a ton. Two weeks ago he was 3 pounds 6 ounces and today he was 4 pounds 2 ounces. So a little over 4 pounds with another 7.5 weeks to go. He will be a good sized baby. The doctor offered for me to see a nutritionist, but I eat all the time, so I declined. I promised if I had not gained any in the next two weeks that I would go. Tristan told her my sister had passed away and maybe that was why I was not gaining weight. Great, now she probably thinks I am a nut case. She offered me to go to a psychiatrist but I told her I was doing ok.

I have also been having lots of contractions. Usually when I get home from work, or am doing house work. Today I had a bunch on the way to the appointment. She offered to make it so I can work reduced hours but I told her that even though I don't like my job, I need to be occupied. She understood and I am to call if I decide to reduce my work hours. That is about it for the baby update. I got a flu shot today at the OB office and next time I go, I will get the H1N1 vaccine (swine flu). Just finished reorganizing the kitchen cupboards. So nice to get it done. i just feel this urge to get everything organized. Not necessarily cleaning, but everything must be organized and decluttered. Guess I am officially nesting.





I think my belly is a bigger than in the pictures, especially the side ones.

I'm OK

That seems to be my signature phrase. Over the last four weeks, that is what I say. And for the first week I really was. There was so much to do to get everything ready for the funeral, and lots of family to visit with, and of course lots of celebrating of a wonderful woman's life. You have this amazing sense of peace and comfort when all this happens. I was not expecting that. I kept wondering how I was going to ever get out of bed each day when Heather passed away. But watching her suffer made me want her to pass and made it easier to keep going at first. Now that feeling of comfort is gone. It was gone after the first week. But you have yourself convinced you are really ok. I never really cried, I went back to work at a new job and a new hospital I had not been to before. I had to deal with that, and that occupied my mind. Then it started, the missing Heather. Driving home from work and starting to dial her number and then realizing oh yeah, she is not there. The wanting to call her and tell her my funny story or something funny I just saw on tv or read. Or calling her to tell her about my bad day cause she would always listen and make me feel better. The worst is now that I only have one job and am only working 3 twelve hour days, I have some down time. I get bored and lonely and I think what has happened, I never got bored. Oh yeah, I would be at Heather's all day long if not at work.

So i started completely reorganizing my entire house and trying to get stuff ready for the baby. I have so much reorganizing to do. This week I am reorganizing and rearranging all of my kitchen cupboards. I call my mom and beg her to come over and bring Aaron so I won't be all alone. I hang out at Heather's with my parents all day tuesdays and wednesdays while Tristan is at school. I don't have my best friend anymore and I don't know what to do with myself. I can't wait for the baby to come so my mind and thoughts can be occupied. I actually like going to work cause I don't think about Heather as much. Except for today we had a young adult with cancer who was very sick and it reminded me of everything all over again.

As for the baby, he is moving around so much. I woke up yesterday and my belly was so much bigger. Today at work everybody could not believe how much bigger I am than just sunday. One girl told me that I finally look pregnant in my scrubs.

I got my official ultra sound results, and I do not have any tumors. Everything is all clear. I still have the small cysts that I can feel but they did not even show up on the test. I will just see the doctor one month after the baby comes to schedule my mammogram, how exciting.

30 weeks and 5 days

I had a check up today. I may have a urinary tract infection. No symptoms, but my test in the office was suspicious. I have been going potty a lot more lately but just thought it was from the pregnancy. So I had to go give an official specimen and will hear from the doctor in a couple days when she gets the results. Antibiotics will clear it up and she assured me it was safe. I lost almost half a pound since my visit 3 weeks ago. But I had gained too much in my opinion the last time, so I am glad it leveled off. I did not have the heart to tell her that my sister passed away while I was at my last appointment and maybe that could be why I have not gained weight. I just promised to eat more protein. My glucose was low at my check I did a few weeks ago and I have been really dizzy at work and almost passed out a few times. She gave me diet instructions on what to eat to keep my sugars normal. Lots of protein, little carbs. She does not want me fluctuating up and down by taking in a bunch of sugar. Too bad that is exactly what I was doing. I would eat a fun size piece of candy or a cookie and then feel better, but only for a bit. Egg whites, almonds, and chicken. Those are what she recommended. I have gained 19 pounds at almost 31 weeks, so overall my numbers look good.

She did an ultra sound to measure the baby. I guess that is what they do each time at kaiser. She measured all the bones and the head. I am right on target according to those measurements and the baby weighs 3 pounds and 6 ounces right now (average for this age). He looks so cute and was shy again today and would not show his face. He is still moving around a ton. I worked in the neonatal intensive care unit the last couple of days. And these babies were going crazy crying. All of a sudden my little baby started moving around and kicking like he never has before. It was too cute. You could see my stomach just a going and the nurse who was training me started laughing. Guess my guy does have good hearing despite his gazillion ultra sounds.

ha ha ha

Ok here are some funny things I have thought of or heard of while watching the news tonight trying to unwind after work.

1. news story about unemployment.... Here was the tip on how to make it through tough times. Try and itemize your spending and see where you can cut, make a budget. DUH!!!! What journalist got that hot tip???? Thanks for the big lead.

2. Cash for clunkers scandal. This program was so dumb from the beginning that I loved this story. Some girl saw the car she turned in and got $3500.00 for all cleaned up and for sell on a raised platform for $5999.00 Maybe people should take that as a clue for how well Obama's health plan is going to turn out.

3. Jimmy Carter saying that the main reason Obama is meeting opposition to his health plan is due to racism. COME ON! Couldn't it be that some of America thinks the plan is just a load of garbage? Call me crazy.

There are plenty more rediculous things I heard on the news tonight, but these are just a few of my favorites.

I will probably get hate mail because I shared my own thoughts on my own blog. Yes I am just a horrible human being.

2 ultrasounds in one day

I went for my breast ultrasound appointment today. I was a bit disappointed. When I first called to make the appointment they said ok your left breast ultrasound will be this day.. UM WAIT! I have lumps on my right. Why are you only doing my left? I was ticked off that if they are going to ultrasound why they don't just do both sides. But turns out they only look at the area of interest. I had to wait until they got the order clarified to the RIGHT side so I could make my appiontment. SO today everything was set up fine. I get in there and they are only ultrasounding the upper part of my breast cause that is the area of suspicion. COME ON! YOu are right there and you won't even take a look at the whole thing. Oh well they looked at where they needed to and the tech could not see anything. She called the radiologist cause apparently I am a special patient. I have a big fat sticker on my chart that says: "High Risk" Isn't that nice. At Kaiser it is protocol to call the radiologist right there for breast ultrasounds. He did not want to come down and look for himself, he thought I was fine to come home and they will tell me what the official read is. The tech explained more about why the doc does not want me to breast feed. Ultra sound is only 90% effective. I need a mammagram ASAP. But can't cause pregnant, and won't beable to while nursing. So I need to stop nursing quickly or not nurse at all so I can have a real screening. I still want to breast feed for 3 months at least, the doc says one month. We will see who wins.

Another policy at Kaiser is that if you are pregnant and having any type of ultra sound they have to do a quick ultra sound and check the heartbeat. I guess there was a law suit at one time where somebody went in for another ultrasound then a week later the baby was stillborn. They maybe could have detected it sooner or found a weak heartbeat if they had just checked while in for her other ultrasound. So I had ultrasound number 11 (i think too many to count). This kid may be deaf with all the soundwaves.

OK I know this sounds lame, but I am finally so excited to have this baby. I have been so wrapped up in everything else. Finding a job, Tristan applying for grad school, helping with Heather, and worrying about my parents, Scott and the kids. But today was the first day I felt nothing but elation when I saw this little guy. He is so adorable. He is already in the head down position with his head way down ready to deliver, so she could not get much of his face. But he was just gulping away the whole time. How is there still any fluid in there??? It was so cute. He always has his hands over his face, but not today. I loved seeing him. He is sunny side up right now, so all he needs to do is flip over in the next 10 weeks. He is so low, I have carried him low my whole pregnancy. My mom is worried he is going to come too early because he is already so low. I am still telling myself he will be late so I don't get frustrated. I have my next OB appointment next week. I will get some info about when I will be off work. You can go off at 36 weeks. But I think that is pretty wimpy, even for somebody on there feet for 12 hours straight. Knowing my luck I will be 2 weeks late and then I will have wasted my time off and be so bored out of my mind. But when I am big and fat I probably will be ready to be off at 36 weeks. I am just going to play it by ear.

My update

Many people have been asking what is going on with me and my health. I called to make an appointment with the surgeon the beginning of august and could not get seen until the beginning of October. What???? I thought the three weeks I was going to have to wait at my old insurance was rediculous. This is the downfall of being in a huge HMO company like Kiaser where your only choice is a kaiser doc and facility. They are always full. If this big lump up by my lymphnodes really is cancerous what would happen in 2 months where would it spread to, how much would it grow??? Especially with all the pregnancy hormones. I called every morning and night to ask if there were any cancellations after 2 weeks of doing that I was able to get in the beginning of september. As I am getting ready to go to the appointment they cancelled it. I was so mad now if I had to wait 2 months again I would not get in until NOvember. Luckily since it was their fault I was rescheduled for the following day. I am also grateful that I was able to change my appointment sooner because it changed the doctor I saw. I was originally supposed to see a general surgeon. When I was able to move my appointment up I was able to see a different doc who specialized in oncological surgery. He was chief of oncological surgery at Kaiser in Hawaii and one of the only oncological surgeons they had on the island.

So I had my appointment right before Heather's funeral. He felt what I was feeling plus the area up by my lymphnodes the NP had felt at my other appointment. I had convinced myself that there was nothing there because I have not felt it. He believes they are fibrous cysts. And thinks that the area up by my lymphnodes are clusters of fibrous cysts. I had a fibrous tumor removed on my other breast in 1999. Due to that history and Heather's history he is being very cautious. He ordered an ultra sound to see if there is anything bigger/tumors. He believes these cysts are too small to biopsy and that they are so small they may not even show up on the ultra sound. Like I said he is being very cautious and I will be seeing him every 3 months for a breast exam and getting on a yearly mammogram and ultrasound routine.

This man was very sweet. He could not even look at me when he walked in. He said you had a sister diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer at 29 shortly after giving birth? Me: Yes
Doc: ANd you are almost 29 and are pregnant and are feeling lumps?
Me: Yes
Doc: I saw on your paper you circled family member deceased from breast cancer.
Me: Yes
Doc: Was this your sister?
Me: yes
Doc: How old was she when she passed away?
Me: 32. She just passed away this week.
The doctor who could not even look up at me finally looked up and had tears in his eyes. What a compassionate man. They teach you in med school and nursing to not get your emotions involved. But this man was so caring. He also said despite Heather's genetic testing being negative twice. He is still treating me like I have a 50% chance of getting cancer. He does not think any of these lumps are cancerous but I will be on the regimented 3 month check and I am only to breast feed for 4-6 weeks. I am not sure if I will follow that recommendation but he said that hormones from breast feeding help spread some cancers. But mainly it is because if I go to have an exam every 3 months and I am nursing he cannot assess me apporpriately. It would be very easy to miss lumps when you are filled with milk. He wants to see me one month after the baby is born and then come back after I have stopped nursing to make sure everything is ok.

It has taken me a couple weeks to get in for the ultra sound. But I finally got an appointment and go on monday. Will keep you updated on the results

Video of Heather

My niece Morgan Luedtke (Fred's oldest child) made this video of Heather for her journalism class at BYU. This was done over general conference weekend in april of 2009. This was after Heather's brain surgery in February and her intense rehabilitation. Her face is very puffy in the video due to the spinal fluid leaking in her brain around the incision site. Although it is not the way Heather typically looked, it is so comforting to watch this video, mainly just to hear her voice and watch her mannerisms.

I am also proud of Morgan for this video which I believed she received a 100 out of 100 on. She is using it as a piece to apply for the BYU journalism program. Morgan is very creative and talented. I remember her doing documentaries/newcasts as projects in junior high and high school. I had to be part of the under ground railroad for one as she was reporting on it. I can't believe that interest has lead us to this point of a career choice. Most of all I am grateful to Morgan for just capturing this little bit of Heather in her last days. The video is below. ENJOY!

Grattitude

This week I have had nothing but grattitude in my heart for my family. I am lucky to be part of such a wonderful family. I have the best parents, and adore all of my siblings. It is so nice that we all get along and that each of the in-laws fit into the family so well. I am grateful that Scott will always be a part of our family even though Heather is not here. We have had a family dinner each night (fri, sat,and sun) and were able to have Scott and the kids with us. It was so neat to see Scott playing a game with all the older nieces and nephews and how much they love him. I also have amazing cousins and aunts and uncles who have really pulled through for us during all this and are wonderful examples and supporters. The Chapman family has been amazing and it so neat to see how much they cared for Heather. I can't even begin to express my grattitude to the ward Heather and Scott are from. They have done more than ever expected or I could have ever thought to ask. What examples of Christ like love and service.

After Heather's passing the only thing Tristan to say was "I am so grateful for Jesus Christ." What a renewed faith and a stronger spirit I have felt all week since Heather's passing.

I am also grateful for everyone's love and support and especially your prayers. It was so nice to see how many people loved Heather. The funeral was packed. It was a beautiful service ( I am sure my opinion is biased). We had friends come from all over. I even got the best surprise ever at the funeral. My two roomies from University of Utah (who I think are the most quality women I have ever met and admire them dearly) flew in that morining and left right after the services. Although they had only met Heather a couple of times they came to support me. I did not even know they were coming. So many people who Heather had even lost touch with in the last few years while she was sick and did not do much emailing or calling came to the funeral. Heather always thought she was invisible or not well liked. I hope she realized after Saturday that she was so loved.

Pictures

These are some pictures Tristan took of me today after i got up. Excuse the messy hair and no makeup. But we decided we should at least take some clothed belly pics for our little guy's scrapbook. We have not one picture of me the entire pregnancy, until today at 28 weeks. My stomach is not very big cause I have gained it in my lower body as you can tell from the profile picture. I have been eating horribly the last month with Heather being so sick. Now that I am allowed to exercise again I need to walk every night and eat right. Hopefully we will be better about taking pictures from now on.

Info again

yes the building where heather's services will be held at on saturday is the stake center for the anaheim east stake. 441 S Fairmont Blvd, ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA

More info on Heather and Services

I got a comment asking me what stake center/building the services are at. the address is on the other post. But it is the Anaheim East stake. at teh fairmont building. Since that is not my stake I am not sure if it is the stake center. I will try and find out. Also people have been asking about donations. Please do not feel obligated to, and I am not asking for them. But for those of you who have emailed or posted comments asking this is what is happening. They are trying to set up an account for the children where you can put money into it for their college fund. Or you can place a donation in Heather's name/honor to any breast cancer cause such as Susan G. Komen For the Cure.

I need to start working on the eulogy, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Surprisingly I have not really cried. I don't think this has really hit me. Hopefully it won't hit me on saturday during the eulogy, cause that won't be good.

28 weeks

I will be 28 weeks tomorrow. I had my OB appointment the day Heather passed. Weird that I was watching an ultra sound of my new little life coming to this earth at the exact same time Heather was leaving the earth. I had just had an ultra sound last thursday but since this was my first doc appointment at kaiser and my first time meeting the doctor she wanted to see the baby for herself. Like I was going to object. She said she was more concerned with looking at my amniotic fluid level than measuring the baby since we just had that done. I guess my small belly is fascinating to all. The doctor was concerned that since my stomach is so small that maybe I did not have much fluid. But I have "plenty" according to the doc. I told her that people always ask me if my baby is ok or if my due date is off and that I don't look 28 weeks pregnant. That is when the truth came out. She said honestly when I walked in and saw you I thought there is no way you are that far along. Hence why she wanted to do an ultrasound herself. Our little guy is in the 50% percentile for weight. I hope he stays that way, especially now that I will have a regular delivery. I have gained about 16-18 pounds and have 12 more weeks to go. She told me to plan on being late. WONDERFUL!

I also passed my glucose test with flying colors. After drinking that sickeningly sweet stuff my blood sugar was only 80. I was supposed to have an appointment today with the surgeon to check on my new friends but they cancelled it an hour before. Luckily they just called me and rescheduled it to tomorrow. Thank goodness cause it has taken me months just to get the appointment I was supposed to have today.

Funeral Service Information for Heather

Heather's funeral will be Saturday September 5th at 10:00am at the LDS church off Fairmont Blvd in anaheim hills, ca.
The address is 441 S Fairmont Blvd, ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA.

At some time in the afternoon will be the graveside service at Rose Hills Cemetery in Whittier. I am not sure the exact time.

For family the talk right now is that there will be a family viewing at 9:30 am followed by a family prayer.

Please email me or post a comment if you have any questions or need other information.

Goodbye Heather (8/31/09)

Today at 4:29pm Heather Ann Luedtke Chapman passed away at the young age of 32. She will be greatly missed and was loved by so many. It was a very peaceful experience. Unfortunately I had an OB appointment and left for that. My plan was to be gone about one hour then come back. Of course the doctor took forever to get to me and I did not get seen till about 4:30 when my appointment was supposed to have been at 3:40. I called my dad as soon as I was done with my appointment and he told me she had just passed about 15 minutes before. I could not even cry cause I was so mad that I had missed it. But I had been there for the morning to be with her. I just always thought I wouldd be there when it happened. Her funeral will be on Saturday Sept 5th. I think the time is set for 10:00 but I will be posting the official address and time as I get more information. Thank you to all for your love, support, and prayers for the luedtke/chapman families.

More on Heather (8/31/09)

On saturday I had to work up in Hollywood. I got up at 5, and went and picked up a co-worker and then we meet another co-worker at our hospital in Bellflower so we could all three car pool. We had just gotten on the 101 when my phone rang. It was Scott saying Heather was not doing well. I said well I am not driving and I have to do this orientation so I will try and get Tristan to pick me up when he wakes up. Scott said but she is asking for you. I called Tristan who keeps his cell phone on silent when he sleeps and since it was about 7 he was not close to being awake. I called my parents, my dad was on his way out to Heather's. I told my dad to see what was going on and call me and then he may have to come get me. I hung up the phone and my co-worker did not even say anything. She just got off the free way and turned around. She drove me all the way back to my car and then the two girls had to go all the way back to Hollywood and were going to be so late. BUt that is what friends are for. At my new job I am working with several girls I worked with for the 5 years I was at UCI. 3 of them i am extremely close to and what a blessing it has been to work with them again. It is like being back with family, which is something I really need right now.

I drove to Heather's to find she was having some difficutly breathing despite the Oxygen and was very anxious. She would try and talk, but it sounds so mumbly you can't really tell what she says. Sometimes she is clear though. She could not get comfortable, she would not drink much or go to the bathroom. After giving her a cocktail of medications for pain and anxiety, she finally rested and looked comfortable. Jean, her friend and roomate from BYU, came to visit which is a double bonus cause she is a great nurse and was able to help out. I went home and cleaned and grocery shopped. Then on my way back to Heather's my sister in law text me saying Heather is asking for you and crying. I was already on my way and I only live 10 minutes away. We stopped and got gas and when we got there she was asleep. She never woke up the whole time we were there. She is getting weaker, but yesterday my mom was able to get her to drink some of her smoothie and to have soup broth. It is now monday morning and I will go and see her for a little bit today. She tries to tell me things but I can't make out the words sometime. Wish I knew what she wanted to tell me.

My mom was complaining about how we won't tell anyone what name we like for the baby and was saying how that means she won't like it. Heather was lying down with her eyes closed and all of a sudden sat up and pointed at my mom and told her "Mom it is not your baby". She lectured my mom on how it was none of my mmom's business and I can name the baby whatever I want. Then she laid back down and closed her eyes. Thanks Heather for always standing up for me. Even when you are so sick you are still being my big sister. Love you.

Good bye P.P.

I had an ultra sound today. The NP already called me and said that like 90% of the people with Placenta Previa, mine moved. So no more restrictions (like I was following them anyway). I am still going to try and be off my feet as much as possible at work and have others lift and move my patients so I don't throw myself into early labor. Everything else with the baby looked great too. Perfect heart, heart rate, and all structures are perfect. I was kind of sad after she called cause I was getting used to the c section idea. After all there were lots of pros. I would get to pick what date the baby would be born so we could work around Tristan's schedule, I would not have pain/labor, and I would get 2 more weeks off work. I was measuring a few days behind what I am supposed to be. But my belly is small so maybe the baby is just small. Or maybe my date is off. I go to the doc on Monday. Kaiser does not accept anybody elses ultra sounds is what I was told today and they don't accept other doc's due dates they have given you. So I probably will get a whole new due date on Monday. I was just hoping to avoid a december delivery.

Heather

I know people tune into my blog to read about Heather and there has not been much about Heather in the last 5 days. The thing is there is not much to report. It is the same thing each day. Either she sleeps a lot or she is constantly agitated and moving positions and can't get comfortable. She still has her moments of being with it and her moments where she does not even know who you are. I had my first one of those on Tuesday. She said she knew Cherise was her sister but I was not Cherise. It about did me in. It is really hard to watch her get so combative and hallucinate. You want to help her but you can't cause she does not believe you when you tell her those things are not really happening. Then she gets so angry she can get a little mean. Which is so not Heather. Heather has always been the docile one. Shy and quiet and sweet. Tristan keeps reminding me that this is not Heather to not take what she says personally. My parents remind themselves the same. Perhaps that is why they can be with her from the early morning hours until late at night without ever taking a break. Between the meds and the cancer in her brain and her hallucinations none of these horrible things she says are her talking. She has kind of reverted back to a kid. She says she wants to be a good girl. She gets mad if my parents don't let her get out of bed (she would fall if she tried to get up and walk around by herself) and tells them what mean parents they are. My dad just smiles and my mom apologizes and says she was never a good mom. OH PLEASE, she is the best mommy ever.

We have been so fortunate to have so many people help us. Heather's ward is wonderful. Right now Scott is off work for a week and people from the ward come in and help him overnight with Heather. This is nice cause my parents can sleep at night for this week. There ward brings in meals often and are helping the kids to maintain a fun and normal life through all of this. What a blessing to belong to such a great ward. We have also had wonderful family and long time friends who have brought meals to my parents and who have come and sat with Heather and helped my mom bathe her. Stephanie came and helped Scott all weekend. Heather loved having her there and it is nice that the two best friends got to have a little time together again. I was able to spend most of tuesday and wednesday with Heather and my parents. I can't lift Heather so I am not much help. I was singing primary songs with her yesterday when she totally freaked out and asked me to just stop singing. True testimony to what I already new, my voice is horrible and I will stick with my piano playing.

Advice needed

Well I am thinking it may be time to embark on that lengthy task of registering for baby stuff. Everytime I think of walking into babies r us I get a bit anxious. It is so big and there is so much stuff. I have researched products and have an idea of what I need, but being a first time mom I would really like your input. If you have any suggestions, recommendations or things not to waste my time with I would appreciate it. Just leave me a comment saying products you love, or must haves or do nots. Really any input would be wonderful.

Thanks!

Heather

Heather started with hospice care on Wednesday. On Monday Scott talked with the oncology staff and they said there was a slim to none chance the new chemo would work. They said wtihout chemo they thought 2-4 weeks left. This started the ball for hospice care. The next day she had a brain scan since she is having trouble hearing and she can't really see much anymore. The neurosurgeon said it looked ok that there was no reason for those sympotms. But we have had CT scans tell us things are ok before and the MRI showed things were bad. So I am not putting much stock in it. With her recent gamma knife surgery she will probably last longer cause the tumors that were causing a lot of the problems were treated. Heather was started on steroids to help with brain swelling and she has improved a little with that. Able to see a little now and more with it. She won't eat very much, just takes in fluids but that is better than nothing. She has lots of hallucinations and does not make sense a lot,but she has her moments where things make sense. While waiting for the CT scan on Tuesday she had not been with it all day. THen she tells my dad in the car that he has done all he can. I think that is what he needed to hear to let go.

On Wednesday Heather started throwing up again. Luckily it was the first day hospice was there and they were able to give her medicines that she could keep down and she got some rest. The ended up providing 24 hour care since this was a change in status. They won't be doing this until it gets closer to the end. For now they will just be coming by once a day until Heather deteriorates further. The nurse was asking my dad on wednesday night if Heather was his only child. HE told her he had 2 sons and 2 other daughters. Heather had supposedly been asleep or was just lying there silent with her eyes closed. Then she said I am so proud of Cherise. That makes life worth it right there! Nothing better than having your big sis proud of you. Last night Scott and my dad took Heather back out to her house. She has been asking to go back. The hospice has a hospital bed there for her, but Heather did not like that. She felt like she was trapped and in the hospital. Hopefully they will be ok with her being in her bed for now cause she is going to be really anxious if she is stuck in that bed.