Tristans first and only post!

Concern has been raised as to why I dont have a job. Here is why I am currently not employed but soon will be.

Im not Albert Einstein, or any other genius. I have to study very hard for my grades. As some may know, I am working on getting into graduate school for my Masters in Physician Assistant Studies. Persons acquainted with the scholastic requirements for said career know the rigorous and intense courses required as prerequisites. A typical psychology, english, or history class requires a couple hours per week of studying. A typical biology, math, or chemistry class can require 15-20 hours of studying per week. Taking just two of these classes can require 30-40 hours of studying in addition to the studying required for other classes being taken. These science courses often have a fail ratio of 30%-60%. With a current load of approximately 50-60 hours of studying per week outside of class, I do not have time for employment.

Admittance into a Physician Assistant program is very competitive, demanding the highest grades. In order to be competitive, I have to constantly study to achieve and maintain the highest of grades in all my classes. Employment would dramatically reduce my GPA, ensuring I never get into a PA program.

Due to the many prerequisites for a PA program, I always take summer school and winter intercession classes to speed up my graduation. Due to the accelerated curriculum, there is absolutely no time for a job during the summer or winter breaks.

Not only do PA schools require high GPAs, they also require thousands of hours of community service and/or paid patient contact. I recently took an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) course at UCLA. This will allow me to get an EMT job this summer so I can build up paid patient contact hours to supplement my community service hours. As there are no summer school classes offered I need, I have applied for jobs and am awaiting responses.

We are having a........

Who knows???? The kid would not cooperate with us today. I had an ultrasound at the genetics center of orange county, I am 13 weeks 6 days. They have a really fancy machine that you can see so much more clearly with than the one at my OB's office. It is part of the state screening program california is now doing for free. The tech performing the ultrasound said she would tell us the gender, but our little one would not stay on his back so we could never see. We had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago and the N.P. thought it was a boy, there was definitely something there between the legs, but what was it we could not really tell. We could not get a close enough look to see and since I was only 12 weeks then it was way to early to really be sure. Then the tech who performed it today could not even get a look in that area. But she said based on her experience, and the shape and angle of the pelvis, it looks like a boy. Whatever that means, I know nothing about pelvic shapes. I am not running out and buying anything yet based off two best guesses that this kiddo is a boy. We will hopefully know at the 20 week ultrasound if this one will just cooperate with us. I can't believe how big this kid is now. In just 2 weeks the baby looks so different. Now instead of laying down all stretched out, the baby is sitting up and all curled up with no room to spare. This kid wants to be on its stomach. The tech would get it to turn or move and would start to get the measurements she wanted then it would do a flip or somersault and go right back to the same position.

So the jury is still out on this baby, Tristan was really bummed we could not find out. I was not planning on it as it is still really early. Plus, I like the mystery. I could wait til the little one came out to find out.

I am not showing yet, thank goodness cause I have still not told my work that I am pregnant. Still holding out for a job before I announce this. My sister Heidi brought me over a bunch of clothes this weekend and I am very surprised to say I got my almost 14 week self in size 4's. I have never tried that. Tristan said they looked good but i felt like I was being squeezed to death in a few of them. Too bad I will only be able to wear them for a few more weeks.

Happy Birthday Heather/Why am I sick again?

This post is about a day late. It was Heather's birthday yesterday on the 22nd. Scott took her to lunch at disneyland at Blue Bayou (spelling may be wrong but its 0600 in the morning and I am not going to look it up). Then she got to spend her money Disneyland gives you on your birthday. She was only there a few hours but it wore her out. I hope she had a great birthday and am just grateful she got another one in. Happy 32nd birthday Heather.

So why am I up at 0600 on a Saturday. I have been up since 0500 actually. I have a really bad cold. This is the second big cold I have had in the last 6 weeks. I have had it for almost 2 weeks now. It keeps getting worse and I have been working everyday cause of orientation for my summer school teaching. The working everyday and not being able to take anything has really made it hard. I think I have a sinus infection which is going to be hard to get rid of without antibiotics. I have been up the last few nights coughing away and blowing my nose. My work is forcing us to take 6 12 hour days of unpaid leave in the next month, so I decided why go in today if I am sick. Might as well take my days off. Yes I am officially getting laid off. Last day of work June 30th but they are still making us take this unpaid time off which is about 2 weeks work. So i really only have about 2-3 weeks of paid work left. No new job yet.

Good News for Heather!

Heather went to her oncologist yesterday and got the results of her CT scan from last week. The doctor and the physician assistant both came in to see her cuase they both wanted to hug her and give her there congrats. Her scan of her chest/abdomen was significantly improved. Mostly the liver is what showed improvement and the rest of her cancer stayed the same. So they were glad that nothing got bigger and lots got smaller. She had her chemo again yesterday and will contiue with this regimen. Her last chemo she was on showed improvement after the first half of it and then stopped working, so I hope this chemo continues to work well. Heather has an appointment with her neuro surgeon today about gettig her stitches from April out, it has been over 6 weeks and she has not been leaking. Hopefully when the stitches are removed all will continue to go well.

12 weeks!

I am 12 weeks today. Almost done with my first trimester. Just as the nausea, headaches and now dizziness/fainting is all in full swing. We had our 12 week ultrasound yesterday (wed). I went from the doc appointment to the DMV to renew my drivers license where I almost passed out while stading up taking the written renewal test. I had to sit down on the floor of the dmv with my back against the wall. What an ordeal. I am prone to fainting and I felt different all day. Just thought I was getting a cold cause i woke up with a soar throat. As the day progressed I got weaker and weaker and my legs started to shake and I was so light headed. But I was able to pull through it, and get to another appointment about a summer job. I stopped at a gas station on the way home and got some gatorade. I am pretty weak still but feeling a lot better.

As for the ultrasound, they check out the brain that is forming, the spine, stomach, and all limbs. The baby looked good and has grown so much. I had to have some blood work done because I have been exposed to a virus at work which causes damage to babies in the first trimester. They are testing me for 2 things. 1) for immunity. If i have the immunity then it won't matter if I was exposed to it. 2) To see if my body is making antibodies right now which would mean I was just exposed and my body is fighting it. That would be bad and the baby could be severely retarded. I have taken care of several patients who are mentally retarded due to exposure to CMV as babies. They don't talk or walk, they have tracheostomys and are on breathing machines, even at 16. I don't think I have anything to worry about. I am also participating in the newborn screening that california is now paying for. I had my blood drawn for that as well. IF my insurance approves a special ultra sound, I will be having that done too as part of the study. It will be able to rule out with up to 90% accuracy if the baby will have several different diseases such as downs, spina bifida, etc. I hope we get approved otherwise no more chances to see the baby until my 20 week appointment.

Celebrate Good Times

Yes it was mother's day yesterday and no I did not post about how totally awesome my mom is. Why? Cause it goes without saying. I have the best mom.

Tristan made a really cute card on line and typed a message in it and had it sent to the house. I had no idea what it was, thought it was a wedding announcement cause the name and address were printed on it. I was really surprised when I opened it up and it was a cute pregnant lady and said "For the mom to be." He wrote a really nice message about how I am already a good mom to our baby. You know, nice and sappy. I was not expecting anything so it really made my day.

Tonight we went out to dinner. It has been a long time since we went out to a dinner that was not taco tuesday at el torrito. We don't go out to eat much. Tristan is too busy studying to take that much time out at night to go out to eat, and I often get home too late to go out. Plus I usually have already had my dinner at work. We had a buy one dinner get one half off coupon for macaroni grill. I figured I could eat the bread they give you for an appetizer and then bring home my food for Tristan for tomorrow since I really can't eat that kind of food still. We went out to celebrate Tristan getting a 102.5 out of 100 on his physiology test. He just found out today after 3 weeks of worrying about what he would get. He thought he had done well on the first test but ended up not doing as well as he had hoped. He also felt like he had done well on this test, but with how the last one went we were not sure what to think. He had a very slim chance at the A he dreamed of in the class, but with this test, he is back in the game. Here is hoping the final next week goes as well. I am so proud of Tristan. He continues to improve every semester. He is even setting academic goals like getting on the deans list again. I never thought he would care about the deans list. The whole way to the macaroni grill I had to hear him sing a song about 102.5 to every song on the radio. He is like a kid at Christmas, so excited about everything. I hope he gets that excited when I get a big poochy belly in a couple months.

More about Heather

Well I have some good news about my sweet sister. I ran into the neuro surgeon Dr. Louden at work on thursday and he immediately asked about Heather. He wanted to know why she had not had her repeat MRI and come back to see him. I explained that she had antoher CSF leak back in april. He was so shocked and so upset that he did not know. He asked if it was over Easter. Yes it was, he was out of town for a while, but he said he was still mad that the other surgeon never told him. He wanted another MRI and I explained that Heather had one while in the hospital over Easter. We looked at it together right there at work. He was so amazed. one of the lesions is completley gone and all the others have continued to shrink from the radiation. He showed me the before and after pics from every single view of her brain. He is so impressed with her response. I hope her CT of her lungs and liver are improving as nicely as her brain. Can't wait, her scan is actually on wednesday not monday. She had it mixed up, but can you blame her with a gazillion doctors appointments to keep track of. She is meeting with Dr. Louden again at the end of the month once her head is completely healed and we will proceed with trying to do the gamma knife surgery.

Heather is getting stronger. She was walking with ease with her walker on Friday while our cousins were over visiting. Hannah is her biggest cheerleader. It melts my heart to see how excited she is for her mom to do the littlest things. This 6 year old totally gets it. She knows her mom is starting all over at learning how to walk and do everything. She was so excited that Heather got out of her bed and to the bathroom by herself with the walker the other night. And today Hannah called my parents to tell them that her mom had walked up the stairs to their condo with scott holding onto Heather's hips. Heather said Hannah cheered her on the whole way up the stairs. Hannah is getting more comfortable with getting on Heather's bed to watch movies or play games. She has been hesitant to do this, I think she is afraid she may hurt Heather or do something wrong playing around in the bed. I made a rule that when I go over there if Hannah wants to play then we play it in mommy's room and mommy can play with us. That way we are all doing something together.

Needless to say I left work on Thursday walking on clouds after all that good news. I called Heather and my dad from work fighting back the tears that her scan was so much better and there was so much hope from this doctor. Heather is definitely going to make it past the end of the year (which was the time we were given that she will probably pass at) and I couldn't be happier! Who knows if this gamma knife gets all the lesions in her brain and we can somewhat control her cancer in her body she could live several more years. Its all in the Lords hands but it is encouraging to know he is blessing Heather with so many miracles.

Heather Update

Heather is plugging along. She was really tired all last week. I think it is just the cumulative effects of the chemo now that she has had several treatments. She had another one today and she gets her injection tomorrow. She is getting stronger overall. She can get herself up to the edge of the bed in a sitting position get herself up and move around with the walker, then she can get back in bed pretty well too. She is very anxious but I would be too if I kept having to worry about my head leaking and was locked up in a house all day long. Her incision is healing nicely. No leaking in the last little bit. They will take out the stitches in a few weeks. At the doctor today they told her her liver function tests were normal. THey had been sky high and since this new chemo she has started, they have dropped each week and they are now what a normal healthy person would be. What does this mean. It can indicate that the chemo is working and shrinking the tumors in her liver. We won't know for sure until she has another scan. Fortunately she is having a CT Scan on monday. We should know shortly after that what the results are.

Hello Pregnant Lady

This is the greeting I get everytime I talk on the phone with Hannah (Heather's daughter) or go to their house. Since I go to their house pretty much daily and talk to them daily I get this a lot. Then when I leave I get the farewell of Goodbye pregnant lady. She is so excited, it is really fun. My other niece Haley (Heidi's girl) is also really excited. It will be fun to watch these two girls with the new baby. I am really excited to see Aaron Heather's little boy with the baby. After hearing Hannah's greetings for a couple of days, Aaron now has his own greeting for me. As soon as I walk in the door I hear the cuttest little voice say "baby in tummy?" Yes it is more of a question from him and then he pats my tummy and runs away. He wants a boy and Hannah and Haley want a girl.

Many have been asking if I have been sick with this pregnancy. YES, I just have not wanted to post and complain about it. As horrible as I feel I have to keep moving on with life and I am really grateful that the sickness is all worth it. I have had morning sickness, constantly since about week 4-5 on. It started to get better last weekend for about 4 days. I just felt upset to my stomach but not like I was going to loose my stomach every second as I had for the last 4-5 weeks. But that did not last long. Since last Thursday I have been very sick again. I was able to say I had not thrown up, just constantly feeling like I am about to. It is really hard to go to work so early in the morning and stand all day long thinking you are going to loose it infront of everyone. I am really pleased that I have still been going to work, I have always been one to go to work even when really sick. Well Last night after thinking I could tolerate some what normal solid food (what was I thinking?), I broke my streak of no vomitting. Yes I will never be eating chicken salad sandwiches again! I have been having really bad headaches that the tylenol just has not been helping and I think that triggered the episode last night. But I still went to work today and pushed through it. I am almost 11 weeks and hope that it will improve soon. After throwing up just once, I am glad that I am only as sick as I have been.

We had an ultrasound on saturday. The baby was so cute. It was jumping all around, and I am not exaggerating. Tristan got it all on film. THe baby would push with its feet at one end of the sac and shoot across to the other side, then slide back to his original position and do it all over again. Baby got all worn out and then put its hands up to its face and took a break for a few minutes. Then the ultrasound tech must have pushed so hard that it woke up and stretched its arms and entire body out and then arched its back. I can't believe it is moving so much in there. It is so crazy. Of course I got teary eyed. Partly cause it is amazing and partly cause I have already diagnosed my child with ADHD. Perhaps I will coin the phrase "Fetal ADHD!" It will also probably be a wild little boy just like his father. I thought it was a girl but after that I am pretty sure it will be a boy. We will just have to wait 10 more weeks to know for sure.