Heather

I know people tune into my blog to read about Heather and there has not been much about Heather in the last 5 days. The thing is there is not much to report. It is the same thing each day. Either she sleeps a lot or she is constantly agitated and moving positions and can't get comfortable. She still has her moments of being with it and her moments where she does not even know who you are. I had my first one of those on Tuesday. She said she knew Cherise was her sister but I was not Cherise. It about did me in. It is really hard to watch her get so combative and hallucinate. You want to help her but you can't cause she does not believe you when you tell her those things are not really happening. Then she gets so angry she can get a little mean. Which is so not Heather. Heather has always been the docile one. Shy and quiet and sweet. Tristan keeps reminding me that this is not Heather to not take what she says personally. My parents remind themselves the same. Perhaps that is why they can be with her from the early morning hours until late at night without ever taking a break. Between the meds and the cancer in her brain and her hallucinations none of these horrible things she says are her talking. She has kind of reverted back to a kid. She says she wants to be a good girl. She gets mad if my parents don't let her get out of bed (she would fall if she tried to get up and walk around by herself) and tells them what mean parents they are. My dad just smiles and my mom apologizes and says she was never a good mom. OH PLEASE, she is the best mommy ever.

We have been so fortunate to have so many people help us. Heather's ward is wonderful. Right now Scott is off work for a week and people from the ward come in and help him overnight with Heather. This is nice cause my parents can sleep at night for this week. There ward brings in meals often and are helping the kids to maintain a fun and normal life through all of this. What a blessing to belong to such a great ward. We have also had wonderful family and long time friends who have brought meals to my parents and who have come and sat with Heather and helped my mom bathe her. Stephanie came and helped Scott all weekend. Heather loved having her there and it is nice that the two best friends got to have a little time together again. I was able to spend most of tuesday and wednesday with Heather and my parents. I can't lift Heather so I am not much help. I was singing primary songs with her yesterday when she totally freaked out and asked me to just stop singing. True testimony to what I already new, my voice is horrible and I will stick with my piano playing.