Congrats Tristan

Last Saturday Tristan took his national EMT test. It is computerized and you are given a minimum of 75 questions and a max of somewhere around 150. As you answer each question correctly it raises your level of competancy. If you do not prove your level of competancy you do not pass. Tristan called me after 45 minutes and was done. I got really nervous, but then he told me the test shut off at 75 questions. This means you aced it or you did so badly you already proved you were incompetant. I knew it could not be the latter. On Monday he got the results and he passed. This week has been crazy trying to get all the paper work done. He has had to be fingerprinted, take a special driving test for ambulance drivers, get a copy of his driving record, have a full physical, and process all this paperwork. The resutls, a million peices of paper, certificates, Id cards etc saying he is a licensed EMT in CA and orange county. He has a couple of job interviews and tests at abmulance companies lined up. Hopefully he can get some experience this summer for his grad school applications and then use this as his internship hours for school.

Heather update and cute Hannah Story

Heather is doing well. She had a lot of back pain last week, probably cause she is walking around now without a walker. You can tell she uses her arms to help her balance as she is still a little unsteady, but she does not drag her left foot anymore. She used to walk everywhere with her walker and take the wheelchair to her appointments, church, or to family member's homes. Now she takes a walker to her appointments, and walks around home without anything. She uses the wheelchair to go out shopping or with friends, or to disneyland. All of these are things we were not sure she would ever do. Luckily thanks to conitnued shrinkage of the tumors in her brain (and body) her motor function has steadily improved. She went for her follow up MRI and to see Dr. Louden about her gamma knife surgery. Since the tumors are either staying the same, or still shrinking, there is no need to do the surgery at this time. She will have regular MRI's to follow up every couple of months. As long as they do not grow, she will not need the surgery since it is no longer impairing her gait and she is doing so well.

Now for my cute Hannah. She loves to come up and kiss my tummy and hug it and say hello to the baby. The other day she came up and hugged me from behind and squeezed my bum and said hi to the baby. I thought this was odd. "SO I said what are you doing?" She just looked up at me and so matter of factly said, "Well Oma (my mom) said you are carrying the baby in your rear!" I could not stop laughing. She took it literally, or she is just too smart and was sticking it to me. Yes, I finally gained a couple pounds this week, and it is all in my lower body. I still fit in my pants and nobody else can tell, but apparently my mother can. My mom told me from the beginning that it would happen. Thanks to her family's genes, that is where the baby weight goes first. Too bad I can't be like my sister Heidi who just looked like she stuck a basketball under her shirt even at 9 months pregnant. Now I am determined to start to work out again. I have not worked out since all this happened with Heather and then being so sick with the pregnancy I never had the strength. I just started feeling better about a week and a half ago. Now there are no excuses, got to be sure my tummy is the only thing growing. We find out what the baby is on Thursday. Will it be a little Tristan or Trista???? (And NO, neither of these are names we are even considering)

Forced to go private

Tristan and I had already discussed the possibilty of going private when the baby came. Our blog started out with us just telling about 5 people we had one. When my sister got sick so many people found out about it and I did not like that. I was glad people could keep up on heather but I did not like that so many people had access to my life. I only would blog once month or once every few months. I was not big into blogging, don't really have the time. I did it frequently with Heather though to keep everyone posted. Due to recent problems, we are making our blog private at this time. Please email, call me, or post your email address as it will go straight to my email for review and then I will not post it.

I have no need to defend myself. So I won't. My friends know me, they know who I am and what I stand for. They enjoy being around me and know I don't judge them or think I am better than them. That is what is important to me. I have had so many emails and phone calls with people telling me how proud they are of me for standing up for what is right. They all have also shared how funny they think my posts are. Everyone else can think what they want and that is fine.

I do want to clear up one thing a commenter said. I have never said watching PG-13movies are wrong. I did comment over a year ago about watching R rated moveis and gross Pg-13, which that person quoted yet still misunderstood it. That means the nasty disgusting crass PG-13 movies. Movies with the f word and sexual content, nudity and other innappropriate content. I do watch some pg-13 so I would never say it is wrong. Although I do not see many anymore, and I have found recently that you have to be careful of some PG movies. If I am going to be judged I would like it to at least be based on the facts. Out of 84 posts I have had 2 which I have alluded to things in others blogs, no I don't sit here and blog about others all day long as suggested.

Although I have thought for years the gospel is black and white, I am learning that it is not to all. I don't believe there are any grey areas. It is right or wrong according to what the prophet, the lord, or the scriptures have said. Everyone has their free agency to choose to do the right or the wrong. I have friends who choose to do opposite of me and we are still very good best friends. We respect each other's choices.

It will be interesting to return to church on sunday. As the anonymous blogger did say they can't reveal their Identity cause they are in my ward.

I really appreciate the comment from a grandmother stating how I am just trying to be a good example to my children. Thank you

Take no offense where none is intended

Ok, my plan was just to ignore the lame comment whoever anonymous was and be the bigger person and not point out that the comment made no sense what so ever. But today Tristan looked at old posts and noticed sommebody commented on his post about people saying he should have a job. It was the same person (cause posted at the same time as the other one) and it was another rude comment which yet again made no point. You can say whatever you want about me but to be flat out rude and mean is un-called for. After Tristan wrote about how hard school is for him and he studies hard cause need's all A's for grad school this person had the nerve to be a total jerk. Funny thing is if the person actually read Tristan's post about why he does not work then they would realize their comment made no sense. He is going on to grad school so the term C's get degrees does not work here. He really has to be doing 100% school. People always ask Tristan if he really has to have that good of grades to get in. I am so surprised that people are so clueless about how competitive it is to get into grad school especially in medicine, dental, law etc. It would be interesting to see if this anonymous person went to school and worked at the same time and got good grades. People can do it, I did in grad school. Straight A's at UCLA and working as a nurse. But I don't know if I could have done it in undergrad, it was much harder than grad school. However, school is much easier for me than for Tristan.

I am not going to engage in some blog war, but will just leave anonymous with the above title. Obviously my comments that I don't understand why people post their naked belly pics on line produced sour grapes. So sour that the person then in turn attacked other things. If anybody wants to post rude things or disagree with something on my blog that is fine, but put your name to it and own up to it like an adult. I am not going to be mad. But I feel like maybe I should help you out with a little life lesson. When somebody expresses their view or thoughts, it is not being judgemental just cause it is different than yours. I did not make a judgement, I never said it was right or wrong to show your belly. Just that I dont want to see it and i don't get why all of a sudden in the last 12 months it is this blog fad. So yes I am confused how i get called judgemental for posting my own view on my own blog. Also, I did not say anything bad about people who do it such as they are horrible people or dumb, that would be very unkind. Once again, nothing judgemental.

I don't really care, but I actually feel sorry for this person that they have so much anger or unkindness in their heart that they would post such comments, and that they have not learned to respect other's feelings.

Enough with the naked belly pictures

Ok so I just wrote this big long post about how I am so sick of seeing naked belly pics of pregnant women. I wrote how it is weird and grosses me out (especially those sick poppy outty belly buttons). I wrote about why you can't just post a picture of your belly clothed. I theorized about it, maybe because I don't think wearing a bikini is ever appropriate due to the teachings of my religion, I find it odd to expose ones belly to all during pregnancy.

But I have erased that post before publishing it all to say..... I don't like seeing it, I don't get why it is so "hip and cool" to post them, and I won't ever be doing it.

I think that about sums it up (Oh and no I am not against it cause I am jealous and embarassed to show my belly. I still don't even have a smidge of one to show and still no weight gain at 17 weeks).

Sorry to disappoint those of you who have been checking my blog daily in anticipation of a peek at my naked pregnant belly. (Like anyone would do that?)

Can you get laid off from 2 jobs in a month?

Answer..... Yes. I have an extra job where I teach for cal state long beach one day a week during the school year. Currently I am teaching for cal state fullerton this summer. So with the job loss we have something for the summer and then I would start my long beach job in september. It is not enough to get by and it has no benefits or vacation or sick time. I am what is called per diem. It means as needed. I have taught for them for almost 2 years, we have a staff of 4 for the peds department and we all love working together. I received a call from one of my co workers saying that they kicked out so many students from the nursing program this year that they are cutting one clinical group and it is mine. Not only are they cutting my actual time slot, the friday night group, but me as well cause I am the newest. There is only one full time teacher and the other 3 of us are per diem cause we have other full time jobs. They need all of us every semester, but this one. The other girls have been there longer so of course it is my turn to go. I can start again in january with them though, but I was hoping to be on maternity leave then.

What bad luck. Now I dont even have a back up plan. However things may still work out. The girl that called me to let me know confided in me that she is going to part time and I could have one of her teaching spots. I should be excited, but she has told me for the last 3 semesters she is quitting and never has. After being strung along at my other job for so long, I am failing to put much hope in it. To make matters worse, I was counting on this part time surgical NP position at CHOC that was to start in July. I was told it would be posted last week. So when it was not, I called on friday to see what was going on. My boss said, "Oh I have been meaning to tell you, but did not know when you work, due to the budget we have decided not to hire for that position at this time." Load of junk. I turn my schedule into her every month, she knows when I am there. Also, she told me a month ago that this was all budgeted for starting July 1st. So I asked how it was all of a sudden not budgeted for. The response, we are using the money for that job for something else. Great, thanks!

So I have nothing. No part time job, no teaching job,no back up plans. I have called other schools about teaching and they all say, yes we need teachers but due to budget cuts we are not hiring from the outside. We are all just pitching in and filling in the spots since we can't afford to hire anyone. Hospitals are also all on hiring freezes. I have two possible leads. Neither of them ideal, both with large pay cuts. Oh well at least they are jobs. I start applying and interviewing this week. I am so sick of everyone saying how did you get laid off, you are in healthcare. All the regular nurses at my work have all been only working 1-2 days a week instead of 3. And the physicians I work with are all just finishing their residency and none of them can find any jobs. You know it is bad when doctors can't find jobs.

Hospital Tour turns to day spent in ER

Today Tristan and I decided for our family night activity we would take a daytime tour of the labor and delivery area where we would be having our little one. We wanted to get it done before Tristan heads back to school and before I start working more. It started off bad when we got there and everyone else on the tour looked like they were ready to pop. Here I was in the midst of 12 other pregnant women and I looked like the odd ball. They probably thought I was eager beaver just finding out she is pregnant and way too excited to wait for her tour. Since I still have not gained weight or started showing yet I really stuck out and felt uncomfortable.

We were about half way into the tour and just finishing up in the labor room. I started feeling dizzy. I saw a chair in the corner of the room and wanted to go sit down in it. I had had this same feeling last week at work and sat down for 15 minutes and ended up being fine the rest of the day. But with all these other pregnant women and me looking not pregnant at all, I felt like a loser going over and sitting in a chair. I might as well say, "Oh sorry you are all about to explode any day now but I am going to sit down now while you all stand." Well it started getting worse, I was fanning myself and sweating. I started shifting my weight and telling myself we are almost out of this room then you can walk around and will be fine. NOPE! The lady in charge had the marvelous idea to just stay in this little cramped labor room with 25-30 people to continue to talk about the post partum area. Then she would walk us over there. Oh wonderful! I was in the middle of telling myself I will be ok when it started. The jello leggs, the tunnel vision that is starting to blacken, and the blood leaving my head. I turned to face Tristan and had enough time to say I don't feel well as I made my descent down to the floor. Tristan caught me and my cute volcum purse helped to cushion me as well. Boy do I know how to get attention in a crowd.

Turns out one of the perspective dads is a respiratory therapist at CHOC and recongnized me and came to see if I was ok and wanted to put oxygen on me. I did not know him but you can imagine how embarrassing it was to have someone who knew I was a nurse practitioner and that I fainted during a hospital tour. How am I going to go back to work, and will everyone know my secret now? Hospital policy is you must go be seen in the ED. So we spent the next 4 hours waiting to be seen while everyone else walked right in. Apparently being pregnant and maybe having something wrong with you or your baby is not urgent. I also learned that I will be treated better and quicker if you don't speak english and/or dont have insurance. But that is for another blog. (Trust me after 4 hours you new everyones address, type of state/federal aid insurance and their chief complaint. They were practically playing it over the loud speaker). We watched 4 cycles of groups come and go (about 30 patients all of who had coughs or runny noses only). I could have a dead baby in me by now for all they know. Finally we got in. They checked my heart out which I have had done a billion times cause I like to pass out 1-2 times a year. But I have done it about 3 times already this pregnancy. Then they tried to find the baby's heartbeat. No luck, they tried for a long time. I was getting teary eyed, and they finally decided to do an ultrasound. It was a cheapy little machine that was so unclear, but we could see enough. The baby was of course moving around like crazy, does this kid ever stop? The heart was beating and everything looked good. So after 4hours of waiting I spent 45 minutes as a patient. No IV, no blood test, and I will have a lovely $50.00 bill from my insurance in a few weeks.

I am just so glad the baby is ok. We have an OB appt on Thursday. Can't wait to really get the baby all checked out. The hospital tour will have to wait until I look like all the other mothers who were there today, ready to deliver.