To suffice you until I post all the pictures

Here is a side picture of Everett. We were at target running some errands.I love his little sweater he has on. I will post more on monday when I have time. We have a wedding today, then Sunday I work. So it will be a few days til they all get up.

Yes we are alive

People keep asking me if I am alive and ok. We are alive and I am doing much better. I can't believe Everett is 5 months and a week and the last pictures on here are of him around 9 weeks. I had really good intentions to keep blogging,but once I returned to work there was just no time. We have a crazy schedule, but Tristan and I are managing to have one of us with Everett each day. There is one to two days a month where we are both gone (he school and me at work). So Oma (my mom)pitches in and adds one more kid to here day. Here is how we have worked it out. Tristan is in school for 13 hours Two days a week, so I have Everett all by myself the entire day. Then I go to work 2-3 days a week. I do 12.5 hour shifts, but I commute far so it is a 15 hour day for me. I work two days one week then three days the next then back to two. I am waiting for a part time position to open up so I will only be gone two days a week. The days I am at work Tristan has Everett for those 15 hours. He does a wonderful job. I don't know how many dads could be alone without help taking care of a colicky baby for 15 hours straight. Tristan has really impressed me and I am so grateful that he is the most helpful husband ever. It is a group effort to ensure that Everett is with a parent each day. So Tristan and I have 2 days together which Tristan spends studying the entire day since he does not get any studying done while watching Everett. So far it is working out well. I had a lot of sleeping problems but I am taking some sleeping medicine and it has really helped. I feel so much better. I had a lot of anxiety about leaving Everett and going back to work. I was so worried Tristan would not be able to take care of him for 15 hours. I would panic. But that has now resolved and things are looking up. Tristan graduates in 3 weeks. We are so excited.

We can't wait to go to Utah and Idaho to celebrate his graduation and take a little vacation before he starts working. We are going to go to rexburg Idaho to see Sarah's new little baby boy. Everett loves babies so it will be fun. Sarah and I have been best of friends since we were 14. We got married within 6 months of each other and have had baby boys within 5 months of each other. Too bad we live so far from each other. I can't wait to hold a little baby again.

All about me

My baby is asleep in the swing. It is almost 7pm and he is still taking his afternoon nap. Why? Because he did not go down until 5 something. He has trouble staying asleep. I so needed to lie down. I did not sleep at all last night. I had horrible dreams/nightmares. I was so upset that Everett would not stay asleep this afternoon. I finally nursed him again and he knocked out. I read blogs while I nurse since there is no time for it at any other part of the day. I held him and read. I usually don't hold him while he sleeps cause he needs to be swaddled to stay down. He always wakes himself up with his hands even when held. I held him tonight for 2 hours in the dark. Loving my child, reading blogs of young mother's who have recently lost or almost lost their little ones. Crying and squeezing my little one for 2 hours. Dreading going back to work in 2 weeks and leaving him. Feeling guilt that breaks my heart. Wondering why I did not wait a few more years to have kids when I can finally stay home (oh yeah I am old!). Then feeling guilty that thought ever crossed my mind. Wishing Heather was here to tell me how she worked for so long leaving her kids. Even working with 2 little ones and battling cancer. Understanding the tears she shed for so many years. Wondering how many times I will cry at work the first day. Wondering how long it will take til Everett just wants a bottle and not me. Feeling sad over the thought of not nursing him anymore. I will be starting to wean him this week as I need to have a mammogram. My sister Heidi went in for her yearly check up and they ordered a breast MRI. Turns out she has 2 lumps. The first was biopsied and is negative. Then they biopsied the second on and we are waiting to hear about that. So I have decided that my plan to defy my doctor and keep nursing is not the way to go. I need to get checked too. It kills me to stop. I did not anticipate to enjoy that aspect of motherhood like I do. But let's face it. Everett has not matched up to anything I thought motherhood would be like. I thought he would love to cuddle and be held. WRONG! I thought he would sleep a lot WRONG! I thought he would be a chunk. WRONG! I was convinced I would have a not very cute baby based off mine and Tristan's looks. WRONG (he is so adorable)! Everett has not been anything like I thought. I never stop moving, I never stop bouncing or singing or entertaining. I can now endure an entire 45 minute car ride of screaming without batting an eye. I anticipate changing both of our clothing about 5 times a day and doing laundry a couple times a day. Motherhood with Everett is wonderful, it is better than I thought. But it is definitely different than I ever imagined. And I love him more than I ever thought possible. Thanks mom and dad for loving me the way only a parent can. I understand it now.

More Pictures of Everett

These are just some random pictures of Everett between 6 and 9 weeks old. We have not taken very many. Infact when we put these pics on the computer we noticed that the last picture was taken Jan. 26th. Ooops. We do a lot of video, not a lot of picture taking. We need to be better about that.

Yes I know his head is crazy, but when he is totally out that is what he does. I put it back straight and he goes limp again. Looks super uncomfortable.


Tristan and Everett with our friend Tom and his son Porter. Porter is only 3 weeks younger than Everett.

Porter and Everett together.




Us chatting after he is done nursing.


These next two pictures show how you will find us at night. Everett knocked out after his night feeding. While mommy holds him upright for his 30 minutes I watch tv or a movie with Tristan.





Those last two pictures are at almost 9 weeks old. He got his shots that day. Still a cutie. We have no pictures from the last two weeks. So the next time you see a picture of Everett he will be 12 weeks old. Crazy!

2 month stats

I am a bit behind with posting once again. Everett turned 2 months on the 25th of Jan. We went for his check up on the 26th at 8:15 in the morning (We were even on time). We did not have to wait and everything went well. The doctor said we are doing everything right. What a relief to hear since I spend most days thinking what am I doing wrong. Here are his stats...
Length: 24 and 1/4 inches (90th percentile)
Weight: 11 lbs and 12.7 ounces (53rd percentile)
Head: 22nd percentile.

Yes, it looks like little Everett has is Opa's (Cherise's father)pin head. Auntie Heather would be so proud since she had one too. The doctor said Everett is long and lean and its perfect. I am sure he was looking at Tristan and I thinking where did that come from since I am not tall and Tristan is not lean. Hopefully he will stay that way.

Everett is very talkative and loves to have conversations with his toys. He will now sit in his bouncer for about 10 minutes and continues to love his swing and his gym. He is not fussy at all during the day unless he is in the car which he hates or I go run errands so he can't nap. Night time is still rough sometimes. It is hit or miss. But he sleeps all night once he goes down and has since 5 weeks. We are really lucky with that. Now if only I could sleep at night. He also refuses to take naps longer than 30 minutes which is probably why he sleeps all night. So since I don't sleep at night and have no time to catch up with a nap during the day.... Yes, I am going psychotic. I hear him crying or making noises, but it is not him. Tristan woke up the other night to see me standing at the door listening for my son across the hall. He had to force me to go back to bed and told me that the monitor would not lie. If there is no noise through the monitor then he is not making any noise. So where did I hear these noises from??? Who knows, but it happens tons and has for the last month. So yes, I am officially nuts and I have no memory. I loose everything, can't remember where I just put it, or what I just wrote down. I am hoping my memory will come back to me when I get some rest.

I have not put up any pictures of my cutie since he was 5 weeks at his blessing. Hopefully I will have plenty up soon of the last few weeks. He is such a sweetie!

Oh and I was supposed to go back to work tomorrow, but I will not be going back til March 7th thanks to a very nice man at Kaiser HR who told me to just ask my boss for a personal leave of absence. Luckily she granted it!

Everett's blessing

Everett's blessing was on January 3rd. My brother Fred was in town and it worked out nicely that my whole immediate family got to be there. It was all the siblings minus Heather, but Scott and the kids came so they represented for her. Tristan's father and brother also participated in the blessing (that is his whole family). It is funny to see how small Tristan's family is and how large my family is. Here are some pictures of Everett in his cute little blessing outfit.





Everyone who was there for the blessing

Luedtke family pictures



Me giving Everett a bottle in the parking lot while waiting to take pictures


We took these pictures of our little family after church using the timer and a tripod. Tristan did not want to put his church pants back on so he is in addidas shorts. It was my first sunday back at church, and Everett's first Sunday at church. Tristan took Everett home after we took pictures. By then only the last hour of church was left and he was getting cranky. I stayed to play the piano for primary and then Tristan had to come all the way back and get me. This Sunday we just had, we planned better. We took two cars in case somebody had to take the baby home early. Everett made it longer this time. He did not go nuts until there was only 30 minutes left of church.

New Years and Everett at 5 weeks

The day before New Year's Eve my brother Fred and his wife Carol and their four children came to town. We had fun hanging out with them and Scott and the kids at my parents house that night. Then on New Year's Eve Scott's family, Eric's family, Fred's family, us, and my parents all met up at the cemetery (we missed you Heidi). We wanted to see Heather's marker at the cemetary. It is beautiful, and the message on it touches me. That is exactly what Heather cared most about in life was that her children new she did all she could to stay with them as long as she could. That she did not just give up and say I would rather die so I can be out of pain. She fought and went through surgeries and treatments even when her doctor's had given up. All because she wanted to keep fighting for her children. After the cemetery we went to Eric's house and had tons of chinese food and played games. Everett was unusually good that night. He fell asleep while nursing at 7pm and slept until 1am at Eric's house. It was so nice because Tristan and I were able to talk and play games. We had so much fun. I nursed Everett at 1 am and we did not even get home until 2am. Boy was it hard to get up at 4 and nurse again. I don't have any pictures of New year's Eve and we did not do anything on New Year's day, but enjoy the following.

Everett at 5 weeks


Everett and mommy


Everett and mommy both asleep


Heather's marker. It reads: May my children know "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my coarse, I have kept the faith"




Pictures of all of us at the cemetery