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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Day 12

I got a text this morning at work from scott saying Heather was doing well, awake, talking, and even wanted some toast. Since she was doing so well, i worked really hard to get all my work done so i could get over there about 1:00 and spend the rest of the day. Unfortunately things never work how i plan and i barely made it to the 3:00 family meeting Heather's nurse paged me about. We met to discuss what Heather's wishes are. We all know she wants to go home when she feels safe enough to be there. She wants to try and get more mobile and to eat better. We discussed hospice care (end of life care to keep you comfortable til you pass away) and palliative care which is what Heather wants to do. This is when there is no cure such as is Heather's case, but you still want to do measures to try and keep your disease in control. Heather told everyone today that she wants to fight, to show her children that their mother did not give up and is fighting to be with them. So palliative care it is. Heather will do radiation next week if all goes well and then chemo after that. At any point she can decide to stop these measures and do hospice care. The team of women we met with today were awesome they have amazing resources. They are trying to arrange everything to get heather home with the needed equipment and meds and other necessities. They are even trying to figure out how to get her to her radiation appointments everyday since she can't walk or get in and out of wheelchair. Also, she has to get up and down the stairs to get in and out of their condo. The discharge planner is working on getting an ambulance to come and get heather for 5 days to go to radiation. We will see if that is approved by insurance, or maybe she will go to a skilled nursing facility where they can also transport her to her appointments, then can go home from there.

It was nice to see Heather awake today, but by the end of the day she was so tired and starting to not make sense again sometimes. She has her up and down moments. Still can't move very much. Her throat is sore from the breathing tube she had in which makes eating difficult, but she is trying. Hopefully we will have her out of the hospital this week. She is out of the ICU as of today and plans are maybe home friday.

3 comments:

Herlehy Family said...

Thanks so much for the updates. That would be great news if Heather could go home. We will keep all of you in our thoughts and prayers.

Cindy said...

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for calling last night. Sorry, we were at a meeting w/the stk. pres. Don got released after 8 years and 2 stk. presidents. I'll try to connect up with you later. Your blog is so thorough and full of love and compassion. We had no idea it had progressed to this point. I'm not doing so well with it. She was born just a couple weeks after we were married, so I've always had this 'endearment' for her. (Kind of like you since your mom and I were pregnant at the same time with you and Josh). We talked to Josh yesterday afternoon, and he immediately called Mike, Mike hung up and called me, and he was pretty shook up about Heather. Christine wants to come and help your mom take care of the kids! We're just 15-20 minutes up the toll road. We can be there in a jiffy.

Kristin said...

I don't know you or your sister, but I am Cindy Duffy's cousin and she mentioned your sister and your blog on her blog. For some reason I felt inspired to read all you'd written about Heather. I read every entry and as I was just finishing up Day 12, I must have been exhausted from the past two weeks because my eyes closed for a little bit and I fell sleep. During this little nap sitting at my computer, I had a most wonderful experience that I would like to share with you and your family, if that would be okay.

My mom passed away 4 years ago. I am the oldest of 5 and was 36 years old. My youngest sibling was just 27. It was extremely hard on him as the youngest child and as the oldest, I wasn't really able to feel any sadness or grief because I had to hold it together for my dad and my siblings. Over the last four years, I've periodically grieved for my mom and I've often been quite jealous when others have told me they have felt her close by or smelled the powder she wore - when they were all alone. I have never felt any of those things. There was ONCE when I was in the temple that I THOUGHT I felt her put her hand on mine, but I doubted the feeling.

Back to my little nap today...during my slumber with my head flopped back on the chair and a few Zs coming out of my mouth, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamt my mother was with me. I could see her. I could feel her. I could touch her. Yet, I knew she was not alive in the same sense I'd known her before. We talked, as live people talk. I'd had a big screen tv on in the room we were in and all of a sudden, a little tiny TV was turned on in a little alcove in the room where we were and she was watching it (she always watched TV on a tiny TV in her last days). I spoke to her, and I asked her, "What's it like Mom? Is it really like you thought it would be?" And her reply was, "It's so wonderful. It's everything I thought and more." I started to ask her if it truly WAS her that touched my hand that day in the temple and just as she said yes, the telephone (in real life, not the dream) rang and woke me up.

I started sobbing. This had been my one true experience where I KNEW my mom had come to visit me and comfort me from beyond the grave. I wanted it to continue, but I must have only been permitted to have that one brief moment with her. I will cherish it forever.

I'm so very sorry Heather and Scott and you and both families are going through this. But, I can tell from your blog and the pictures that you KNOW there is a better plan out there and you KNOW the truth about eternal families and you KNOW that Scott and Heather will be together again and that Heather will be in a better place. I seriously wouldn't doubt it either if my mom meets her there and welcomes her when the time is right. She's just that way. May the Holy Ghost comfort you during this time and may you have the peace that you need to buoy her up as she heads into our Father in Heaven's arms.

With Love,
Kristin