Oppostition in all things.

Here in the Terry home we have had some good times and some not so good times. A little over a month ago we found out we will be having our first baby, we were in shock. Of course we did not want to tell until the whole miscarriage thing was not much of an option anymore. I am over 9 weeks. We were not going to tell until after the first trimester, but Tristan is really excited and can't wait much longer. We had our third ultrasound this week and saw the heart beating and the arms and leggs moving around. The chance of miscarriage at this point is less than 5% so hopefully we won't be in that 5%. When we went for our first appointment the doctor said that either I was only 4 weeks pregnant (thought I was 6) or that the baby had already died. Great! He never even gave us a due date. He ran all the tests gave me prenatal vitamins, told me he was sure everything was fine and to come back in 3 weeks when I would be 7.5 weeks. But he really was not committed to this, I could tell. I went to a free clinic where they asked me to be an ultra sound model and we were able to go and have another ultra sound only 4 days after that first doc appt. In just 4 days the baby had grown. I was 6 weeks,not the 4 my doc said and we could see the heart beating. Well that was reassuring, but I still was not convinced everything would be ok.

Last week I found out I will most likely be losing my job in july. I am the provider and carry the insurance and I would get a 5 month maternity leave at my job that is paid cause I have so much vacation tme. Now I will have none of this. I have been looking for a job for a week and nothing, not even for regular nursing. If i can't transfer somewhere at CHOC (the hospital i work at) then I will have to find a job else where and loose my long maternity leave. Bummer. I have been really upset. So upset and crying all the time that we were worried the stress was too much for the baby. Luckily our ultra sound we just had on wednesday showed all is well. The doctor was surprised to see in the 3 weeks that the baby grew so much and I was 9 weeks instead of the 7.5 they were expecting. My new due date is Nov 26th which is Thanksgiving. Our perfect little plan was to get pregnant in May and have a baby in January so I could be off for 5 months and then Tristan would be done with school and could watch the baby while I worked until he started grad school. Then I would only work 2 days a week. So since we already messed up that plan by getting pregnant sooner than we thought I should not be surprised that rest of the plan is not working out.

Hopefully I will find a job or they will decide not to let us go afterall. It is really hard to be so excited about the baby when you are so scared and nervous about everything else. But we are really happy to have a little one coming into our family.